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You see the beautiful pictures on Facebook of a Pinterest-worthy wedding and the “I Said Yes!” photos plastered all over your screen. If you are longing for a husband, you may immediately feel lonely and left behind. You’re trying to figure out what your life plan is supposed to look like and why your prince charming hasn’t yet arrived to blissfully sweep you off of your feet.
It was about seven years ago that I became unexpectedly single due to a seemingly promising relationship gone horribly wrong. He and I had looked at rings. We had talked about the future. And in one night, it was crushed. He broke my heart. I remember praying for months, with tears falling down my cheeks, as I tried to figure out what God’s plan was for me. I wanted to be married. I wanted a family. But I was terrified of having to start all over again.
I share life with so many girls who currently feel just as I did at that time.
They are disappointed that their life isn’t where they expected it to be at their age.
They’re tired of seeing the engagement posts, wedding photos and pregnancy announcements.
Even when they want to be happy for their friends, they find themselves having to force a smile.
Discontentment and envy have made themselves at home in their hearts.
They are just ready for it to be their turn.
I would like to share with you the same words that I offer those dear friends. I wish I knew God’s plan for you. I wish that I could tell you that it will happen soon. That your fairytale ending is right around the corner. I don’t know what God has in store, but I do want to say that an honorable and respectable man is worth your wait.
And please know that even when it may feel like it, you are not even close to “forgotten.”
Patience can be hard and discouraging, can’t it? It’s irritating to hear the words “just be patient” over and over again, especially when you’re lonely. I am just here to gently remind you that you’re not alone. And there is so much hope and joy waiting for you – even today.
In the midst of my own heartache, I quickly learned that I needed to make the best of this time that I had. It was a time to make positive changes to my life in order to prepare my heart for my future husband, so that I would be the kind of person I wished to marry.
If I could give any piece of advice to you, it would be this: Don’t date because you’re lonely. Instead, pursue a deeper relationship with God. Know him more, know Him deeper and take the time to learn more about yourself. Please, rip up your endless list of expectations and allow God to write them for you.
Run after God’s mission and then turn to see who is running next to you.
Jesse and I were friends for years before I even looked his way. Why? Because God’s timing is always perfect. He knows when we’re ready. If He hasn’t failed you before, why should this be any different?
I have a friend who told me that she has been single for longer than she would like. She said that she (knowingly) has the impulsive tendency to fantasize about a new life as a girlfriend or wife, even before the check is paid on a first date. She becomes extremely excited about the future and the potential that her date has. And yet – when it doesn’t work out – she is broken. After a few dates together, she has already created him to be the man who will eventually sweep her off of her feet, before she even truly knows who he is. Disappointment sets in and the fact that it didn’t work out leaves her feeling hopeless.
I think we’re all more guilty of this than we’d like to admit. You may begin to blame yourself when relationships don’t work out. You’re disappointed and broken because you so badly wanted him to be good for you, and yet you never really took the time to consider that he actually wasn’t.
Sometimes we live like chameleons, don’t we? Adjusting our “skin” to suit a guy who was never suited for us in the first place. Beautiful girl – I want to admonish you to remain true to who you are no matter how difficult it may be. Trust me, I know that’s easier said than done, but you don’t want to lose yourself in the process.
Don’t force it. Don’t settle.
If God intends for you to marry, the man that He has for you is going to blow your mind.
The man who makes you laugh hysterically, even at yourself.
The man who pursues you and romances you as his beautiful bride, even 50 years later.
The man who strives to always place your needs above his own.
The man who makes you feel safer than you’ve ever been, emotionally and physically.
The man who loves you as Jesus loves His church.
The man who causes your knees to buckle and brings you to tears with a few heartfelt words.
He is worth the wait.
This is my husband, Jesse. We have been married for almost 5 years. You guys – I love my story, even the heartache, brokenness, loneliness and many, many tears that are a large part of it. It’s what got me here. And I pray that one day you will love your story as well. Please listen to my words today when I say that you are beautiful, cherished and worthy. You deserve a good man. Don’t ever allow yourself to believe anything different. And I truly trust that your longing, hurting heart will one day dissolve and exist only as a far-off memory.
But until then, and forever after, hand your heart over to the King who sees you, knows you and loves you far more than you could ever imagine.
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